Meeting a family law attorney: What to bring?

Getting a divorce? Modifying child support? Seeking a restraining order? Planning a prenup?

No matter what life events are bringing you to consult a family law attorney, a million questions may be racing to get answered. Many family law issues create a large number of variables that can swing the direction of strategy, alter emotions, and sway confidences. However, taking matters one step at a time, focusing on addressing what is known, and resolving to be as prepared as possible for what is to come, will allay some of the uneasy feelings associated with these concerns. A motto I find helpful — in life and in professional practice — is “control the controlables.”

A few simple steps to prepare for a first meeting with a family law attorney can bring a sense of preparedness and ease anxiety that commonly coincides with these important moments in relationships. Take affirmative steps to better prepare yourself for what is to come.

Though not exhuastive, below are a few ideas of what to bring to a first meeting with a family law attorney. These are not requirements, but, rather, suggestions.

Divorce or Legal Separation

• Identified goals (for example, if you want to have your children live with you, or if you want to receive spousal support)
• Date of marriage
• If either you or your spouse has communicated to the other an intent for the relationship to no longer continue, the date when that occurred
• Full names and dates of birth of all minor children of your relationship (if any)
• Addresses where the minor children (if any) have lived for the last 5 years and names of who they lived with at each residence
• Daily schedule for your spouse, you, and your minor children (if any)
• Estimates of your spouse’s and your monthly gross income (before taxes)
• 2 years of tax returns
• 2 months of your pay stubs or proof of income (if any)
• Most recent bank statement (checking, savings, money market accounts)
• Most recent statements for retirement plans
• Most recent statement for investment accounts (stocks, bonds, etc.)
• List of real property in which you or your spouse have any ownership interest (if any)
• Entity names and description of type of industry of all business in which you or your spouse have any ownership interest (if any)
• Most recent statements for all debts (credit cards, loans, etc.)

Parentage (child custody)

• Identified goals (for example, if you want to have your children live with you, or if you want to receive child support)
• Full names and dates of birth of all minor children of your relationship
• Addresses where the children have lived for the last 5 years and names of who they lived with at each residence
• Daily schedule for the other parent, you, and your minor children
• Estimates of your monthly gross income (before taxes)
• 2 years of tax returns
• 2 months of your pay stubs or proof of income (if any)

Prenup

• Date of wedding or approximate time of when you plan to get married
• Whether you (or your fiancé) have been married to anyone else previously
• Full names and dates of birth of all minor children of you or your fiancé from any relationship
• If you have been divorced before, a copy of your prior Judgment(s) of Dissolution of Marriage
• Estimates of your fiancé’s and your annual gross income (before taxes)
• 2 years of tax returns
• 2 months of your pay stubs or proof of income (if any)
• Most recent bank statement (checking, savings, money market accounts)
• Most recent statements for retirement plans
• Most recent statement for investment accounts (stocks, bonds, etc.)
• List of real property in which you or your fiancé have any ownership interest (if any)
• Entity names and description of type of industry of all business in which you or your fiancé have any ownership interest (if any)
• Most recent statements for all debts (credit cards, loans, etc.)